She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
