I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
