Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
