Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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