my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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