So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
