I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
