Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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