Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize