So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
