I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
