No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
