Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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