MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize