I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
