Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
