I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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