If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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