did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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