And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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