She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
