I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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