operation harelip BJ is a go
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
