I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
