i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize