im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
