i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize