I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
