you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
