Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
