I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
