to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
