so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
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