Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
