He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
