I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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