Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
