I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
