This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
