By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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