i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
