I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
