You're my little dorito
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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