I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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