just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
