Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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