hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
