no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
