She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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