Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
