why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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