I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize