chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
