What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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