I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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