O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
