the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think I am morally bankrupt
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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