This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
