Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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