you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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