Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
