He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
