Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
