Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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