I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
