I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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