Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
